Eric Cartman – Poker Face Lyrics

Imagine if the most notorious character from South Park decided to put a twist on one of the most iconic pop songs of the late 2000s.

Yes, you've read that right. Eric Cartman, the boy we all love to hate, takes us on a hilarious journey, revisiting Lady Gaga's hit, “Poker Face.” Prepare yourself for a rendition that plays all the right cards, with Cartman's signature blend of irreverence and sheer audacity, bringing a new layer of comedic value to the lyrics we all know by heart.

Get ready to dive into a blend of Texas Hold 'em and love games, all delivered with the unexpected twist of Cartman’s unique charisma.

Lyrics

[Intro]
Mum mum mum mah
Mum mum mum mah
Mum mum mum mah
Mum mum mum mah
Mum mum mum mah

[Verse 1]
I wanna hold 'em like they do in Texas, please (Woo)
Fold 'em, let 'em, hit me, raise it, baby, stay with me (I love it)
LoveGame intuition, play the cards with spades to start
And after he's been hooked, I'll play the one that's on his heart

[Pre-Chorus]
Oh, oh-oh, oh-oh, oh, oh-oh-oh-oh
I'll get him hot, show him what I got
Oh, oh-oh, oh-oh, oh, oh-oh-oh-oh
I'll get him hot, show him what I got

[Chorus]
Can't read my, can't read my
No, he can't read my poker face
(She's got to love nobody)
Can't read my, can't read my
No, he can't read my poker face
(She's got to love nobody)
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[Post-Chorus]
P-p-p-poker face, p-p-poker face
(Mum-mum-mum-mah)
P-p-p-poker face, p-p-poker face
(Mum-mum-mum-mah)

[Verse 2]
I wanna roll with him, a hard pair we will be (Hey)
A little gamblin' is fun when you're with me (I love it)
Russian Roulette is not the same without a gun
And baby when it's love, if it's not rough it isn't fun

[Pre-Chorus]
But oh, woah-oh, oh, oh, oh
Woah-oh, oh, oh
I'll get him hot, show him what I got
Oh, oh-oh, oh, oh, oh
Oh-oh, oh, oh
I'll get him hot, show him what I got

[Chorus]
Can't read my, can't read my
No, he can't read my poker face
(She's got to love nobody)
Can't read my, can't read my
No, he can't read my poker face
(She's got to love nobody)
[Post-Chorus]
P-p-p-poker face, p-p-poker face
(Mum-mum-mum-mah)
P-p-p-poker face, p-p-poker face
(Mum-mum-mum-mah)
(Mum-mum-mum-mah)

[Bridge]
I won't tell you that I love you, kiss or hug you
‘Cause I'm bluffin' with my muffin
I'm not lyin', I'm just stunnin' with my love-glue-gunnin' (Mah)
Just like a chick in a casino
Take your bank before I pay you out
I promise this, promise this
Check this hand 'cause I'm marvelous

[Chorus]
Can't read my, can't read my
No, he can't read my poker face
(She's got to love nobody)
Can't read my, can't read my
No, he can't read my poker face
(She's got to love nobody)
Can't read my, can't read my
No, he can't read my poker face
(She's got to love nobody)
Can't read my, can't read my
No, he can't read this poker face
(She's got to love nobody)
[Outro]
P-p-p-poker face, p-p-poker face
(Mum-mum-mum-mah)
P-p-p-poker face, p-p-poker face
(Love nobody)
P-p-p-poker face, p-p-poker face
(Mum-mum-mum-mah)
P-p-p-poker face, p-p-poker face
(Mum-mum-mum-mah)

And there you have it! Cartman’s interpretation of “Poker Face” delivers a performance that is as unpredictable as a round of high-stakes poker. With his rendition of Lady Gaga's classic, he certainly hits us with his best shot, showing us what he's got.

As we navigate through the lyrical twists and turns, we can't help but be hooked, intrigued by his audacious interpretation. It's safe to say that after this, none of us can read Cartman's poker face, and that's precisely the charm of it.

So here's to Eric Cartman, who once again proves that in South Park, anything can happen, even a cover of “Poker Face” that is as mind-boggling as it is unforgettable.

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